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Not Sure I Can Do This Anymore...

Journal Entry: Thu Jan 1, 2015, 11:33 AM
For the past few weeks something has been bothering me, and I've deliberated for the past few hours over whether to mention it in a journal, so here it is...

I've decided to take a break from dA that may even turn out to be permanent. I have a few reasons for feeling the way I do, including some that I'd like to keep personal, but one that I feel needs to be mentioned is that I feel I'm alienated from people who I once considered friends here. 
One of my main reasons for staying as long as I have is because of the support network and friendships that I have built in the past four years. And don't ask me, because I won't be naming any names.  
I'd like to think that I've always been appreciated in some way, but at this point I just feel as if I give everything and receive nothing in return. I mean, is it my fault? Have I not paid enough attention to certain people? I'm so tired of things that I feel as if I've been shot down too many times to even want to get back up again...
Sometimes it feels like a betrayal, as if some people have used me to gain favour with certain people, and that hurts more than you realise. I've been used before and swore that I would never be walked over again. 

I seriously give all I can here. If I don't complete a piece of artwork or writing in time, or if I neglect to answer some messages then I'm not going to apologize for it, because I have bigger concerns in my day to day life to be dealing with.
If anybody was unaware, I'm a carer for my disabled and unwell mother. That means that almost every day I'm out running errands or taking her to appointments. Sometimes when I've had a particularly tiring day full of appointments and bill paying and shopping, then I don't feel like doing artwork or writing. By the time I get back to my own house and do what needs done, such as housework or walking my dog, then all I want to do is have dinner and relax before bed. 

I honestly don't know what to say anymore and I'm so frustrated. I'm always the one looking out for everybody else and yet nobody seems to ever wonder how I am. 

I've just had all I can take.
If I don't take a break I'll end up somewhere I never want to go again...

  • Mood: Isolated
  • Watching: YouTube
  • Drinking: Diet Coke

Journal History

deviantID

Neurotic-Idealist
Romana
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United Kingdom
I'm 26 years old and I'm from the UK.
My FanFiction.net account www.fanfiction.net/u/2207808/N…

If it wasn't already obvious, I'm a huge wrestling fan!
I also love art and writing, as well as some other randomness.

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Current Residence: The North of England
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:icongambit-el:
Gambit-El Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2014  Professional General Artist
Tysm for the Llama!
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:iconneurotic-idealist:
Neurotic-Idealist Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome! :D
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:iconratedvickie:
RatedVickie Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2014
OMG! I'm so exited that Heather and Remy are pregnant at the same time. Except Remy has no clue! Just the idea makes me smile!
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:iconneurotic-idealist:
Neurotic-Idealist Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
That's so cute. The funny thing would be if, Remy sees Heather in labour and such because she'd be saying how she's never having kids!
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:iconratedvickie:
RatedVickie Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2014
Omg! Yes! She'd swear this is karma coming for her.
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:iconnewestwhirlwind:
NewestWhirlwind Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Merry Christmas Eve! :D :hug:
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:iconsetsuyami:
Setsuyami Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Would like to know what you think in this journal. setsuyami.deviantart.com/journ…
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:iconnewestwhirlwind:
NewestWhirlwind Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Hey! It's me Moltenman1997 under a new account. I was getting sick and tired of my old username and I didn't wanna wait until I got Premium Membership and besides I needed a new, fresh start on here at least gallery-wise. But don't worry, I'm still your friendly neighbourhood Scotsman, just different name. :)



How are you?
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:iconsetsuyami:
Setsuyami Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Sorry for the wait but 2/2 of your commission is done: setsuyami.deviantart.com/art/2…

Send me the 50 points if you like the commissions.
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:iconscottie-bailey:
Scottie-Bailey Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the fave on my puppy's picture!
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